Step 4. NOW.

I need to stress before getting into the whole blog mood with this that I’m really writing this to myself as well as anyone who might be reading this. So please don’t take any of it as me being patronising or minimising how you’re feeling. I was thinking about this last night as I fell asleep and really wanted to share it with you.

I was thinking about this Christmas and how lovely it’s been. I was thinking about all of the people I’ve caught up with since I’ve been back at home from uni whether it’s face to face or with my lovely iPhone. Then I thought about this coming year and the next term at uni. I go back tomorrow and I was so sad about leaving everyone here and feeling as though I had to start all over again and learn to adjust to living on my own. But in fact, I’ve decided that it’s going to be an amazing term because it’s been an amazing break. I really feel that God has been speaking to me about moments – about living in the now rather than worry about what will happen this year or wishing my life away. It’s not uncommon for me to wish I was better and that depression really is something of my past. I think about what my life will be like. Maybe I’ll actually have the funky car I’ve always wanted and a flat and maybe some gorgeous Irishman on my arm… Hmm, okay, I can keep wishing on that one. BUT STILL. The future is something that we so get caught up in because it’s always about what’s going to come next. In everything. It’s always the next level up, the next best thing. So much so that we forget about now.

I don’t really make New Years resolutions anymore because I never stick to them and it makes me sad that I can’t keep it up. So instead I’m just going to try and soak up the year for what it is in each and every way. The good and the bad. What can I learn, what can I gain. BUT ALSO, what am I going to laugh at this year?! What songs am I going to hear that will move me to tears? (Happens a lot, quite embarrassing actually… Too emotionally attached to music? Probably.) What films am I going to go and see and fall asleep halfway through and seriously embarrass whoever it is I’ve gone with. What food will I try, what will I drink too much of. What people will I meet, what essays will I really get annoyed writing and how many times will I want to cry because I’m so bored in a lecture? I don’t know yet. But I’m choosing to be excited to find out – and to SAVOUR IT.

Jesus says ‘therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own’. But I also believe that each day has so much goodness in it. Please don’t miss it this year.

And noticing the good things, taking in those cracking hot chocolates and attractive sales assistants and anything else that if you’re like me might make you smile. Jesus blesses you EVERY DAY, and my prayer is that you’ll see it, believe it and remember it.

Peace and blessings x

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