Hey everyone. I know it’s been a good week or so since I last posted anything. I could ramble on about why this has been the case blah blah blah but to be honest you’ll just waste your time reading it and what would be the point? ANYWAY. So today is Ash Wednesday. Happy Lent everyone! Every year I try to give something up. Usually it’s chocolate or one time I’ve gone completely veggie. I’ve deliberated giving up wine once or twice but I think I’ll need to pray for serious strength before I try that one! 😉
I’m joking. Kind of. So this year, I’ve decided to give up make up. This might sound totally easy and okay for you and if it is then I really do envy you. I’ve always struggled to go without make up, and I’ve always been one of those girls who’s only going over the road to get a pint of milk or whatever and has to put on some mascara before braving the real world. I’m also someone who gets really angry about self image. I hate it when one of the beautiful people that I know and love in my life can’t see just how beautiful they are; whether they’ve been hurt and put down or they really just can’t understand that someone would think them gorgeous in the first place. I’ve been this friend to myself for such a long time and I didn’t even realise. I struggle to be comfortable in my own skin, but the thing is guys, I want to do something about it. I wrote that post on Psalm 139 not long ago, and as always with these posts, I make myself read them back to avoid being some sort of hypocrite. Keeping checks on me I guess, so I’m not just telling you what to do (although I hope that’s not the case, I never want it to be anyway) and then not be doing it myself. Especially when I’m having bad days. I didn’t realise how much harder it would be to pick myself up on a bad day after to writing to you about how some simple things can make it that much easier.
So here it is. I’m going to be starting a new blog series, hilariously called Lent: Face Value and I will try to write every day/few days with how it’s going. I’m not expecting this to be easy at all. I’m praying that God will give me his eyes when I look in the mirror and I see the beautiful woman he made me to be looking back at me. But I want to invite you on this journey with me and share my experiences with you. This really is going to be one challenging 40 days, guys. I really don’t know how I’m going to get on but I’m weirdly excited to get on with it. Today was interesting. It was so strange getting out of the shower and getting dressed and not reaching for my make up bag so I could face the day. To be fair, I was running so late and even if I wanted to I don’t think I would have been able to cake myself in maquillaje as the Spanish say, but even so. Stepping out into the day without any make up on whatsoever was different. But I have to say, I felt strangely free. I could just be Annie. I didn’t have any cover up to hide behind – heck, I don’t have a cover up for my bad days so why should I have one for my face?! All I’m saying is this. It started out a lot better than I thought it would. Don’t get me wrong I still wanted to hide away and put a bag over my face when I realised how tired I looked, but you know what? Who cares. Jesus made me like this, and I reckon he knows what he’s doing.
In one of my lectures today I stumbled upon this cracking bit of Hebrew: Lekh lekha, basically meaning ‘go where I tell you’ (we’re looking at Abraham, by the way, not just some random Hebrew imperatives), and I really felt God speak to me through that. I feel like he’s telling me to this and that it will lead me to a place of feeling a little more (hopefully more than a little) comfortable in the skin he gave me – hence the selfie. Don’t worry, I’m not going to become one of those bloggers who likes to show you their face every single time they post, but I wanted to start this as I mean to go on. That’s Annie, right there. No cover up, no mascara. Just me. And even when I don’t feel it, Jesus tells me that just Annie is beautiful. Just the way he made me.
My prayer is that I’ll see that clearer, and that if you’re journeying on this with me, you’ll see it for yourselves more clearly too.
Peace and blessings x