Impressed? I am. Another blog post in the span of 24 HOURS! Wooooo.
On a bit of a Bon Iver hype at the moment which explains these babes of a lyrics up there. I’m thinking about colours today. This one is mainly a bit of ramble this one, I’m not too sure where I’m going with it. If you haven’t already, listen to Flume by the lovely Bon. It’s a beautiful song and it moves me a bit too much. This lyric, “only love is all maroon”, just got me thinking about what love might look like. Whether it really is a colour, or if it manifests in another way instead. Love has always been one of those things I’ve had a bit of a weird relationship with, going from being hopelessly obsessed with it to taking that vow of ‘never again’ after too much wine and chocolate on a girly night in. I’ve realised something over the last 6 months or so – I’m STUBBORN. I mean, really stubborn. You’ve probably already guessed I’m a bit of a feminist; I have to stop myself from getting a bit overwhelmed by it – for a while I wouldn’t let a guy hold a door open for me because well, I can’t submit to the patriarchy. ERM, WHAT?! Slightly ridiculous. A guy can hold a door for me, he’s a human being, not a disease! ANYWAY.
I think what I’m going to try and say through this is that real love isn’t based on appearance. I guess, in this trail of thought, love doesn’t have a colour. It just goes with it. I was convinced that once I stopped wearing makeup people would stop being nice to me. Not just guys (I can hold a door open so even if they had it wouldn’t be a massive loss there I suppose), but everyone. I thought people would react seriously differently after seeing Annie without her makeup mask on. Pretty ridiculous right? Depression involves a lot of irrational silly thinking. So does many other things, don’t get me wrong. Taking off the makeup for 40 days has been a huge challenge for me for lots of reasons, most of which I’m basically disclosing through this blog series about it. I guess I could go as far to say that the makeup became a part of who I was, I couldn’t be Annie without it; I couldn’t be quirky or loud or a bit too gregarious without it, could I? Yes. Turns out I could.
And guess what? People still held doors open for me. Of both genders, I’ll happily say, not that that’s really important. My friends still wanted to hang out with me and make me laugh and look out for me when I was having a bit of a grey and rainy day. If anything, they didn’t treat me any differently at all. And why would they? Some people say love is blind. I’m not totally sure if that’s true.
In Genesis 16, Hagar (anyone who knows me will know I LOVE Hagar, she’s basically the best. After Jesus, of course) names God. For lots of reasons this is a big deal (…runaway Egyptian slave lady who was a surrogate mum for an impatient old Hebrew lady), but it’s a big deal nonetheless. She calls him “El Roi”; for the biblical scholar like myself (HA what a joke, I’m first year theology, the most exegesis I do is after lectures over a pub lunch) you might know that this means “the God who sees me”. God sees you. GOD SEES YOU. He sees you AS YOU ARE. Makeup mental or makeup not so mental. It doesn’t matter to God. In the Bible we read that Jesus calls us by name and we are chosen in God’s sight. He made us and he knows us and he loves us. I know, standard Christian cringe, right? But what if it isn’t just that, and it’s actually some seriously meaningful truth we can live our lives by?
I don’t think, unlike the lovely Bon, love has a colour at all. I mean, it might. But for God I’m not totally sure it does. I think Jesus just loves. Loves, loves, and more loves. Regardless of circumstance, race, gender, sexuality, class, WHATEVER. He just loves. I think for people love can sometimes be a colour. I know it can for me anyway. The colour changes a lot, and I suppose it’s dependent on who it is which is pretty rubbish. The challenge here (wahey, finally reached a point for the ramble), let’s make love colourless. I’m not saying lets make it invisible, but let’s make it colourless. Makeupless. Whatever-less. Just love people for who they are, and let yourself be loved for who you are too. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Rimmel doesn’t win you love, YOU do. Thank God for that.
Peace and blessings x
Picture taken from Shannon Jade on Pinterest 🙂