Earlier this evening I read one of those cheeky posts where it lists, sometimes completely accurately and hilariously, a whole bunch of reasons why you happen to be just like a character from a TV show or a movie or why you should live in a certain part of the country or which one you are in the girl gang – and I thought it was about jolly time that I attempted one for myself. As is with this cheeky series, The Godly Hearts Column aims to encourage you in whatever situation you might be in right now in the wonderful world of love and romance – and my current situation, as you’ve probably guessed right now, is one of singleness. And guess what? That’s totally and absolutely okay.
It’s been a bit of an up and down journey, really, as I’ve wanted to make super clear because I do not have this down at all, gang, and that is also totally okay. But recently, something that has been playing on my mind is that of thankfulness – and as with most of the other posts I’ve written in this series, 1 Corinthians 7:17 came to mind and it’s seriously powerful stuff, and I realised I need to be thankful that I am where I am. So as with all of these, this isn’t a slating sesh to anyone who is in a completely different situation, just an attempt at a cheeky celebration for anyone who happens to be in mine. So here goes, fellow singletons – 7 Reasons Being Single Is Probably The Best Thing For You Right Now…
1. You can make more time for you.
I’ll admit, I’m pretty crap at this. I’m usually so busy that Annie time comes when bed time does and I just have to fall asleep. But in many ways, I’m thankful for this because it clearly means I have no time whatsoever for a boyfriend (sorry lads, I know you’re gutted) – ha, but seriously, it means that all my priorities are just that: mine, and my time is what I make of it.
2. You can make more time for your friends.
I have to say, I have been massively blessed with some gorgeous friends in my life – and it’s pretty clear I love them because I’m always on the phone to someone or sitting chilling out with a glass of vino (or two…) or whatever else catching up with someone. This year I’ve been lucky to journey with some fabulous guys and girls and see God do things that I don’t think I’d have noticed as much with an even luckier lad on my arm – and as well as that, a spontaneous sleepover or trip to the pub is made even more available.
3. It’s made me learn to feel beautiful ‘on my own’
Ha, this is slightly misleading – I’d be a huge hypocrite if I wrote here now that I’ve never asked anyone if I look good or fat or ugly or whatever and needing reassurance that I’m beautiful – or even just ‘alright’ sometimes – because that would be a super huge lie. What I mean here is, in the past, I’ve always relied upon guys to make me feel good about myself. Don’t get me wrong, there are still pangs of this – but thankfully, it’s nowhere near what it was. Being single has forced me to re-evaluate: so, I don’t have a boyfriend… does this mean I’m unattractive and ugly? No Annie, it just means they might not have picked up on it yet. Besides, why do I need Adam to tell me I’m Eve when Jesus tells me I’m gorgeous every day?
4. Turns out I’m not really ‘on my own’
You definitely don’t need a boyfriend – have you met my friends?! Romans 12:15 says: “rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn”, and the lovely people I have around me have definitely done that. I always have a cuddle when I need one, a shoulder to cry on when it’s required and someone to giggle with me when the good times roll around. Sometimes, we put so much stock on having a boyfriend or a girlfriend that we just think if I had a boyfriend, I would be so much happier. I wouldn’t feel alone. And honestly, how much of an injustice is that to your friends who love and support you right NOW?
5. You learn who YOU are
One thing I’ve noticed about our culture is that we need to be our absolute best for whoever it is we’re trying to impress; the best you can be in bed, how to impress your boss, how to be the best friend, the list goes on. But what about being the best version of YOU? Whatever happened to that? With no one else holding your hand, you can take some time and space to find out who you are – and I’ve done a lot of that over the last 2 years or so. I’ve grown up, I’ve changed – I’m a better Annie than I was and that is all down to Jesus. I’m not who anyone is telling me to be, I’m not who I think I should be to make someone else happy – I’m starting to really learn and fall in love with the person Jesus has and is making me to be, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
6. The only opinion that matters is God’s
This one sounds like a typical Annie comment – but it’s true, and it’s something I’ve really come to realise whilst being single. As girls especially, we tend to always wonder what the other half thinks of us; whether we look nice, sound nice, the right weight, etc. If you’re a power woman with a boyfriend reading this wondering what the hell I’m on about because you’ve never felt this then I’m absolutely super jealous of you because I’ve felt this for as long as I can remember. It’s always been about being a certain version of myself – worrying if they saw the ‘real me’ they’d freak out and run away. Well guess what? Jesus sees and knows the real you, and He still got on that cross and died for you anyway. Bit of a perspective-changer, eh?
7. I have more time for Jesus.
As much as I may have hated it sometimes over the years, being single has given me so much more time to seek and understand and work out what Jesus wants from me. He’s given me opportunities I know that if I had a boyfriend at the time I wouldn’t have been able to be as involved in, and people to spend time with I know that if I had a boyfriend I wouldn’t have seen as much. Sometimes you find a couple who seem to juggle it all – but for me, this time has been really good to seek Him and to serve Him in ways I know I would have sucked at if I had Mr Annie in tow.
So there you have it. 7 nuggets of Annie-advice that I hope are helpful and beneficial – and if not, oh well eh. The end of the verse up top is this: “…God, not your marital status, defines your life”, and I am a big believer in those words. Regardless of your current situation, God is loving you and caring about you and planning for you in ways you couldn’t even imagine – all I’m saying is, for those of us who struggle “doing it alone” (ha, read number 4 again, you aren’t really doing it alone, I promise), God is still in it with us – I know that for sure.
Peace and blessings x